My Testimony
I love lotus flowers. They have smooth, pure white petals that gently float above the water. Lotus flowers and I have a lot in common; we both had to go through a dark and muddy place in order to become who we are today.
About 4 or 5 years ago I was entering 8th grade and going to a public school for the first time. As many of us feel at that age, I wanted to fit in. In order to be like those around me, I started dating, using similar slang, and wearing clothes like theirs. I tried to be more like those around me instead of being who God intended me to be. I even gave away my first kiss which doesn’t seem like a big deal to some, but it is to me. I lied to my parents and did a less than excellent job in school. My biggest regret, though, was telling God that I wanted to live my life the way that I chose too. I told Jesus that I loved him but that I didn’t want to live the way he had planned for me to live. Obviously, I didn’t truly love him the way I thought that I did.
The summer after 8th grade I went to a Christian conference for teens and then went off to summer camp. I re-dedicated my life to Jesus and finally understood how much I needed him. I was always a good kid, until 8th grade, and so I never truly saw how much I needed Jesus. I grew up loving him but not to the extent that I do now, since the reality of his love, grace, forgiveness, and sacrifice hit me that summer. My faith grew A TON after that. I received a “Start!” Bible from the conference that I attended and starting reading the New Testament every night and writing down what I learned in my Journal. Jesus became my closest friend whom I shared the most vulnerable places in my heart to him. My guilt, my shame, my fears, my hopes, were all given to him. I asked (more like begged) for forgiveness and he gave it to me gladly. He threw my sins as far as the East is from the West. He picked me up from out of the muddy place that I got stuck in and cleaned me off. I am now just as white as a lotus flower because of what he did for me. I no longer have that shame. He erased it from my life. He made me completely new again.
After I got back from camp, I was listening to Pandora in my room when Britt Nicole’s song “Gold” came on. I started dancing around my room and I was filled with joy because of the new life that God gave to me. I truly felt that I was “worth more than gold”. Then it occurred to me that not all girls felt like this. Many teenage girls, even girls that I knew, were still stuck in the mud. They had no idea how badly God wanted to pick them up, clean them off, and love on them. These girls wanted better lives but kept digging deeper and deeper into the muck. I knew that it would only get worse the older that they got. Jesus gave me the desire to help them realize that they don’t need to live like those around them, that God extends grace and forgiveness to all people, that they didn’t need to live in sin and shame, and that they are precious in the sight of God.
The basic desires of a girls heart is to feel loved, important, included, and safe. Jesus provides us all of those things and yet most of us don’t go to God. Teen girls and women search for friends, boyfriends, social media popularity, and clicks to fill those needs. Many girls will get into drugs, give their bodies away, and participate in dangerous activities just to feel important to someone. It breaks my heart. It makes God’s heart ache for his daughters. Jesus prompted me to start a ministry that’s called Beautiful You and it’s my goal to direct girls to the only person who will ever completely fulfill their desires; Jesus.
If you are one of these girls who is struggling (like we all struggle), I'm sorry that you’re in a dark and mucky place right now. Please remember that you are just as loved and precious to God when you mess up. Your mistakes and sins can never make God love you less. "For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39. He washed me clean and he will do the same for you, if you ask him. Even if you don't ask for forgiveness, he still loves you. That amazing, never-ending, unconditional love is what changed my heart and my life.
Maybe you haven't gone through a hard time like this yet or maybe you have already been through a dark time in your life and were made new in Christ. If that is you, then I encourage you to pray and ask God to take any dark time you have been through or will go through and turn it into a learning experience. You will go through difficult seasons in your life. It's inevitable. But, these times do not have to break you. Don't hate God for letting you go through the muddy swamp before you bloom into a lovely lotus. Just like a lotus flower needs the mucky swamp to grow, we need challenges to grow in our faith. We are sinful people (Romans 3:23) and we have all messed up and will mess up. But maybe these mistakes will reveal to us things in our lives that we never knew before. For me, it was how much I truly needed God. I relied on people and became disappointed. When I rely on God, I will never be let down. God helped me realize that only he is strong enough to support me and satisfy my desires. I know that he will help you discover his power, love, and wisdom through whatever circumstances you will or have faced. Pray for strength, read your Bible, pray, and prepare for what you will face. Please remember that he is there for you through it all.
One last thing: Pray for other girls. The teen years are tough and we girls can use all the help we can get! It's difficult to pray for girls who are mean to you or whom you don't like. I totally understand that. But they need your prayers just as much as your friends do. Odds are that your friends who have back stabbed you and the girls who are mean to you act the way they do because they need Jesus in their lives. Just like you need Jesus in your life. Don't treat others with sarcasm; please spread encouraging words instead of rumors, these years are tough enough without people make things more complicated. I am praying for all of you right now. We all mess up. Give grace to people who have hurt you just as God freely gives grace to you. May God bless you and give you wisdom no matter what season you’re going through in your life.